Lies, lies and more lies

The wedding date set more of a tone in the relationship than I ever expected.

Each time I said I wasn't exactly pleased with something, there was always an apology and a reason or rationale for why whatever happened. As it turned out, the reasons or rationales were actually lies used to manipulate me in ways that I look back on and still shake my head about. I can remember the first time I suspected something wasn't right.

He went outside for a "smoke break" with another girl. Typically, I'm not the jealous type, but for some reason, it struck me odd. When I questioned him about it, he told me she gave him some aspirin. LIES.

Then, he wanted to move in to a new apartment.

When we first started dating, he lived with his parents, but that didn’t last long.

With a full-ride scholarship to college, all he had to do was find a place near campus.

I toured a few available spaces that I had found — there were some really seedy areas with sketchy people and then there were some really beautiful spaces that I thought would be great to visit him or even stay the night at.

Ultimately, he found one on his own that was right near the college. Supposedly, he found a guy on Craig's List looking for a roommate. The place was right next to Quinsigamond Community College where he wanted to use his scholarship to attend. Though he didn’t have much to move, I offered to help ... in the middle of the night.

His father drove in a pick-up in front of us and we rode in my car – he didn’t have one at the time. I hadn’t seen the apartment yet, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. When we pulled up, however, I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that I just couldn’t shake.

Inside wasn’t any better.

His roommate, we’ll call him, “Vinnie,” led us into the apartment and crawled back into his room. The space that was designated as his “room” was barely that. There wasn’t a door. There wasn’t a closet. There wasn’t even a light. Because of that, I ran to the store while he and his father used the last bit of daylight to assemble some of his furniture, which didn’t even include a bed.

Instead, I borrowed an air mattress from a friend of mine — I'm sorry you never got it back by the way.

As the sun started to set, I opted to go to Walmart and grab him some kind of light source. On the way there, I started to think about all the places we had looked at together and wondered why he settled for this one. It wasn't even a real room. It didn't make sense.

Since I was staying the night, I unpacked and brought some sheets and blankets. This next part really bothers me because I genuinely didn't know or understand that life.

I was naive. And it makes me feel stupid.

I got up to go use the bathroom. As I'm sitting there, I reach for toilet paper that isn't there.

Great. What am I supposed to do now?

As any woman that's been in this position before does, you do the search and reach. Opening the cabinet under the sink with my foot. Peering into the shower with the other.

(Ewwwww, by the way).

Nothing. Wait, wait ... it's ... it's ... a spoon?

I chuckled thinking of a joke I was going to tell him when I returned. In the meantime, I opted to scream for assistance. He handed me some tissues and I went on my way.

When I got back to his "bedroom," I told him of the spoon and asked if it was used as some kind of retrieval method.

Yeah. I'm that naive.

He laughed.

Do you see the foreshadowing here? I didn't.

I stayed the night once he had gotten "settled." In the morning, he told me his grandmother was sick and he had to go visit her. LIES.

Having no reason not to trust him, I expressed my concern and told him I could bring him to the airport. Of course, he just didn't have any money for when he was down there. Without a second thought, I offered him the cash I had on me. He, "couldn't accept" my offer, but took it "with immense gratitude." He told me he'd pay me back, (LIES) but it was only $40, so I wasn't that worried.

He called and texted a lot when he first left, but the responses started to get further and further apart. The next thing I know, he tells me while he was riding a quad, he found a lump and had to go to the doctor's. You can probably guess what the "diagnosis" was. Yup. "Cancer." LIES.

I didn't even have time to be mad or frustrated when his flight landed. I was too worried.

Idiot that I was.