I'm not sorry, so why am I apologizing?

I started writing an email today, as I often do, and somewhere in the mix, I realized I was apologizing. I wrote an apology for my persistence. I. Apologized. For. Doing. My. Job.

I'm not sure when I developed this habit, but my goodness, I stopped mid-mental narration and said, "What the fuck?" out loud.

This person reached out to me and inquired about utilizing my time, and didn't get back to me, but yet, I'm the one apologizing? Absolutely not.

I rolled back away from my keyboard and realized how often I apologize for things that I clearly shouldn't. In a few moments, I'd compiled an embarrassingly long list. There are so many times in a day where professionally and personally I have apologized for ... for just being.

I leaned forward and clicked on the search engine for my sent mail box and typed in "sorry." It was incredible. I was so mad.

Thinking about it: I apologized to the man that didn't move from the middle of the sidewalk and shoved his shoulder into my body without a thought. I said I'm sorry to the retail worker that overcharged me on a clearance item. I said I'm sorry when a server brought me something I didn't order. I have even apologized to checking in with a company that was looking to hire me. I apologize for a living.

That changes today.Not only was it second nature for me to apologize, it's almost like it was expected of the people I was communicating with. When did I give more value to others than myself?

I tapped the "delete" button on my keyboard with force as I cleared my message window. I scrolled up to the subject line of the email and typed in "Persistent Polly." I'm not rude and my tone certainly wasn't, but it was about time that I started making people understand that my time matters too.

Persistent Polly has got things to do too.